When I read the book “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch, I started thinking about how similar it was to the book I had planned on writing for some time. In my book I didn’t want to tell people how to live, do this, do that. I wanted the book to make people think about how they lived. Instead of writing the book, I decided to start this blog with a military friend of mine. Besides a few of the things I have already written about, the following are a few things I would like you to think about in your life. The things I would most likely talk about in my last lecture, in no specific order.
I have often heard folks ask or mention who they would like to have a meal with before they die. I have 3 at this point. Michael J. Fox would be my first choice. I have liked and watched Michael J. Fox at every part of his career. I’m actually watching Back to the Future as I write this. I’ve watched him in “Back to the Future”, “Family Ties”, “Spin City”, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” among a few and cameos in major TV dramas. I thought he was funny, talented and an all around good person. It wasn’t until his diagnoses w/ parkinsons did he really gain my respect. He has written 3 books. I’m reading my first book now “No time like the future – an optimist considers mortality”. In addition to parkinsons he is dealing with other related health issues. After all these years of trying to tell people to look up, and be optimistic about the hand you are dealt, he feels he doesn’t need to do that anymore. It’s ok for him to say “things suck” and “I’m not happy every day”. It’s not his job to make you feel happy. That is your job.
I would like to cook and eat with Anthony Bourdain. Not because he is the most accomplished chef or restauranteur. I believe he is a better writer and story-teller. His voice is mesmerizing when he tells a story. When I read his book I can hear him telling the story. I can listen for hours. He loves where he is when he is eating, he loves the story behind it, he loves how it was cared for and made. I love that he loves food. Not for the purpose of existing, but the purpose of enjoyment. It is like he is orgasming while eating.
I went to Drexel university and studied architectural interior design. Some called it interior decorating. Yes, I was one of 3 straight men in my class. But I love design and the thought process behind it. Tim Gunn, the original host of Project Runway. His passion for his craft and those who participate in it is insatiable. I would love to talk design with him. I believe he is the type of mentor anyone, in any profession would like to learn from. He can easily project his love for what he does, on you and want you to be better at what you do.
Read. Read a lot. Read about different subjects. Don’t close yourself into one genre. If you don’t like to read, then listen. Listen to pod casts. There is so much to learn & experience from others. Knowledge is powerful. It makes you a more understanding and compassionate person. Here are a few books or authors you can try (just a few). Date them when you read them. Learned that from my Father-In-Law (Dave Koski) and our neighbor in Massachusetts (Fred Buck). Helps your memory when you get older.
- Tom Brokow The Greatest Generation
- Maus I & Maus II
- Tom Brokow The Time of our Lives
- Daniel Silva
- David Baldacci
- The Making of a Chef
- Think Wrong
- Today Matters
Don’t complain to others or hold them accountable for a decision you had control over. If you find yourself tight on time or late for something, don’t drop your responsibilities on another person because you ran out of time. It’s not fair, it’s irresponsible and it’s just not nice. Think about what you have to accomplish and plan accordingly. Plan your work, Work your plan (My Dad).
When someone says something to you that you don’t agree with or triggers you in some way, don’t lash out immediately. Think about why it was said, where the comment may be coming from, and take a deep breath. Think before you respond in anger. There are times when removing yourself from the situation for a period of time is the best thing to do. Come back in a few minutes to resume the conversation. It’s a time-out. They’re not just for kids. It will make you a better communicator. Say what you mean, don’t say it mean (My wife).
Don’t ever park in a handicap spot unless you have the right too. I would hate for you to need one, and one is not available because of someone’s ignorance.
I know it is a cliché, but build yourself a bucket list and do it. Even small things. Achieving things are fun, you learn from them, and you push yourself to be/do more. Try not to say I’ll do that some day or tomorrow. Domani never comes. The same goes for when you think of someone. If you think of someone you have not spoken too in a while, call, send them a text or god-for-bid write a letter. Don’t let time go by. I had that experience with a person I worked for down the Jersey Shore for about 10-12 yrs. I worked at his restaurant during the summer when I was off school. I kept telling myself I needed to call he and his wife (Pat) to catch up and see how they were doing. They had retired to Florida and came back periodically to visit with their daughter & family. The last time I had that thought, I received a call from his daughter the next day telling me Mario has passed. Truly my loss. I had so much I wanted to talk to him about.
If you come across someone broken down in the middle of the road, help them. I was driving between schools one day while I was working for Christina School District. I was on my way to Christiana High School. There was an older woman broken down in the middle of a two-lane road. Several people just drove around her & left her to fend for herself. The traffic began to back-up behind her. I pulled my car onto the shoulder, asked her what the issue was. I proceeded to push her car onto the shoulder so she could wait for help. As I was doing this several people sped by as if they were bothered by the delay and didn’t care what the issue was, as long as it wasn’t them. One person even sped past and beeped their horn as if we could have moved faster and not interrupt his poor planning. Don’t be like that it is ignorant, selfish & inconsiderate. A similar situation happened to Jen and I on route 13 north when driving back from the beach. Two different individuals stopped their car and helped push our vehicle out of the middle of the road.
Don’t talk on your cell phone in public when standing around people. I don’t care what you have to say, what you’re talking about or who you are talking to unless it is an emergency, and I can help. It is impolite and you are polluting everyone’s space. If you really need to talk with someone, get to an area away from everyone and handle your business. And please, if you are in line at a store, cancel the call, finish what you are doing and then return the call when you leave the store. Again, if it is an emergency, I would be happy to help.
Please have money ready when going through the tolls. You are given fair warning that a toll is coming and what the amount is. Have the money ready. If someone is driving with you, ask them to get the money ready. Don’t wait until you are at the toll to fumble through your shit to find money. If the trip you are taking has tolls, then have the money ready. Here is a good idea. Get EZ-pass. Be considerate about others who are traveling as well. While we are at it, if you have EZ-pass you don’t have to wait for the LED light to tell you to go through and the toll has been paid. If there is no money on your account, you will get a notice or a bill. You won’t get arrested. EZ-pass was invented to help keep traffic moving.
Be Kind, Be Considerate!