I like to pride myself on being able to respond to difficult situations with calm. I figure out what happened, what needs to be done, and put plans in place to move forward. In very difficult situations I may find myself sitting for a good cry later, when things have settled, but initially I am focused on things at hand. Maybe that is why I liked working in emergency response so much. I’ve even pushed through having the pain of a kidney stone wake me up in the middle of the night, rushed to the hospital and passing it the next day. They say it is the male version of pregnancy. Now I know why women were given that task. Men would cry through the entire process. Women say they want to kill someone when they are going through labor. I think a guy would actually do it. God bless you ladies.
Even with sports I operate the same way. I’ve had bad games in hockey when way more goals went in the net than should have. Too often to want to talk about it. I get frustrated, chalk it up to experience and prepare for the next time I’m on the ice. Our goalie tandem laughs about it. We wear jerseys, with matching socks. Leg pads, catching gloves & blockers that are color coordinated. After a bad morning of way too many goals being scored, we always say, “hey at least we look good pulling the puck out of the net”.
I have played many sports in my life. I’ve water skied, skateboarded, played tennis, roller hockey, racquetball, squash, baseball, softball, touch football, basketball, badminton & bowling. I still play pickleball, snow ski & ice hockey. All at some level of success. Like I didn’t suck. But the hardest thing I have ever done is golf. I can’t figure out why I do one thing on one hole, and something completely different on another hole, let alone one shot and then the next. I love the game. I enjoy being in the open sun & air on a beautiful course with other people. I’m good on hot sunny days, because I am always in the shade of the trees. Maybe nature has something against me.
I hit the ball straight on one hole and far right on the next. I hit the ball 200 yards on one drive, then hit a rug burner in the grass as if I was boring underground conduit. I was playing one year with my neighbor in Massachusetts. We were on a beautiful par 4. Keep in mind they add hills and mountains to golf courses up north. We are on this par 4 and I hit the ball off the tee about, I don’t know 200 yards. There is a creek about another 100 yards up before you hit the green. My neighbor says, “hit the ball easy in front of the water (lay up as they say in golf), then the next shot put it on the green”. Me being the athlete that I am. Knowing I can reach the green, I go for it. Sure as shit, I put it on the green in 2. This is good, I’m getting the hang of it. Four putts later I gave myself a 6. What the …
I don’t know if I’m holding the club incorrectly. Moving my hips when I’m not supposed too. Swinging inside, outside, upside down. Yea Dr. Seuss or The Cat in the Hat could probably play better than me. But every once in awhile I hit that shot that makes me feel good. It makes me want to try more. Pay attention to all the details of my swing. Then I fuck up the next one. I don’t get it. Early on in my golf career I was only playing 3, maybe 4 times a year. Folks would say “your not playing enough. When you start playing more, your game will improve.” Ok, I joined a league last year with a friend of mine. He is better than me but has his bad shots/days as well. I think my game is going to improve now that I am in a league and playing every Wednesday from May through October. Bullshit. I still suck. Just last Sunday my golf partner & I decided to go out for a round to get a few swings in before the season starts. On one hole I hit a nice drive fairly centered on the fairway. The next shot I hit the ball 15 feet into a sand trap. Shanked it. I decided to pull out a 5 iron and try to pull the ball off the sand and just get it into the fairway. As if I thought I had the talent to do that. Guess what I did it. I hit that ball so well that it put me 5 feet from the green. Holy shit, it is finally coming together. Not a chance, 4 shots later I gave myself a 7 on a par 4.
Now my writing partner Tony, will tell you how great a game it is. He can play. I assume he can. He mentions when he plays, how often he plays or volunteers at golf courses. I see his FB posts about this course and that course. But we never really talk about how well each of us plays. I assume he plays well enough that if he realizes how bad I am, he may stop partnering with me on this blog. I’m glad he enjoys it. I may ask for some lessons.
Maybe I should put one of those Novice Driver stickers on the back of the golf cart, buy a few drinks and just enjoy the time with others.
It is truly the hardest thing I have ever done!