A LIFE WELL LIVED!

I usually pass all my writings by my 2 boys. They are much better at spelling, grammar & punctuation that’s for sure. Not this time. I’m going for it. From my mouth, to the computer, to the blog. They are too busy with their own lives, so pardon any spelling or grammatical errors.

I was deeply saddened by the recent passing of Tony Bennett. With his passing, came back memories of my dad either in the kitchen cooking, or in the living room setting a table for one of my mother’s awesome meals, following along singing Tony Bennett. He reminded me of my dad. Skin color, salt & pepper hair, and a big smile. I miss that so much. Every time I would hear Tony sing, I thought of my dad. The Rat Pack – Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. Peter Lawford & Joey Bishop. The next time I was in the car I immediately threw on the CD made for me by my co-author Tony Paris, when we were in the military. A mixture of hits from Frank, Tony & others. I love it. My family loves it.

All this reminiscing stated me thinking about our recent trip to Italy. My sister had asked us (Jen & I) almost a year ago if we were serious about going to Italy, and would we like to go together. Italy! Absolutely! Wait, 12 days with my sister, brother-in-law and my brother’s former partner. On second thought, let me think about it. Yea, I love my sister. My brother-in-law? Eh. Daniel, he’s gay. What to do, what to do. Ok, I love Joe like a brother. Yes, I love Daniel like family. He is still part of ours many years after my brother’s passing.

Jen and I had a decision to make. Did we want to go? Absolutely. Could we afford it? Eh. We passed on a trip 2 yrs. ago w/ friends because things just didn’t line up right for us. This time was harder to push it off. After watching all those Stanley Tucci shows about Italy, we had to go. What we said was, why not go this time. What if something happened to one of us and the other is now alone wondering what it would have been like to go together. What would the other have thought about the trip? We were not putting it off any more. We would make it work. I’ve had friends who have passed on way too young. Lucky for some, they spent the time doing the things they loved and going the places they wanted. Maybe it was the family history we were trying to discover, or the lore & romance of Italy itself, or maybe it is Europe in general, but they know how to live. And what a juxtaposition of life styles we experienced. Though different, they all had the same basic core values.

Our first stop was Sorrento. A small coastal town in southwestern Italy, facing the Bay of Naples. On the Sorrentine Peninsula. The town is perched high on cliffs overlooking the water, with fishing village and marina. Sorrento is what I considered a good balance of locals and tourist. Their daily life was casual and paced. Steady in how they go about their busy and daily activities. No rush unless absolutely necessary. Sitting down in the middle of the day for a wine, coffee or aparol spritz is how it is done. Enjoying the weather, the scenery or the people. Taking a break from the stresses of life or work from 2:00 to 4:00 is a thing. It really happens. Some shop/business owners open back up at 4:30 or so, and some don’t. If you go to a restaurant for dinner at 5:30 you will most likely be eating in an empty establishment. On the other hand, the bars and cafes are full. Folks are having an espresso or drink, talking with friends or co-workers. The evening is just beginning. You want dinner? Wait until 7:00, 7:30 or 8:00. Then you will see food abound. Pasta, seafood, meats and cheeses. Desert is a whole other event. I told my doctor that I was going to Italy and unfortunately, I was not going to watch my sugar intake for 12 days. My recent check of my A1C (usually a look back over 12 wks.) was higher than the last check. But I did enjoy myself. The grilled seafood and fried sardines (and we had a lot) were great. The mood was consistently paced but relaxed. Urgency in some cases, but not everything an emergency. Money is necessary for living, but not a driver for what makes them happy. Food is fuel, togetherness is the binding ingredient.

Our second stop was Catania, Sicily. We had to go there. My father was born there. I’m half Calabrese and half Siciliana. It is in my blood. Catania was blue collar. It was Philly, and I felt at home. Catania was definitely more local. Sicilians are hardworking, roll up your sleeves tough. They are proud, butchers, farmers, masons & carpenters, and they make sure you know it. I mean you go to Catania, Sicily because you are following family history or you know someone who lives there. The locals in Catania consider themselves different than Italians on the main land. They are not shy about telling you that also. My mom would always joke that the Calabrese were kicking the Sicilians out of Italy (look at a map). Sicilians love what they have and have what they need. If someone had more you probably couldn’t tell. Though they are hardworking, just like in Sorrento, they now how to relax. One local we met on our hike up Mt. Etna told us that when it is time to take an afternoon break, again between 2:00 and 4:00, they are serious about it. So serious that even if you wanted to spend a few hundred dollars in a merchant’s store and they were closing for the afternoon, they would turn you away and tell you to come back. The store owner has a different priority. Their afternoon time is precious. Shops closed between 2:00 – 4:00, then that is a great time for me to settle down for an afternoon drink or 2 and immerse myself into the culture. There is always a place to find a glass of wine. The evening activities were no different in Catania, then they were in Sorrento. Not just on the weekends. Every night. The food was as amazing as I would have thought (horse meatballs, donkey mortadella panini, Pasta w/ pistachio sauce).

Our final stop was Rome. To be honest, we stopped there only because we had our flight home. Rome was about history, art and tourist. I had 3 tourist goals in Rome, (besides eating good food and drinking wine) I wanted to see the Trevi fountain, the Pantheon, and the Coliseum lit up at night. The fountain is beautiful, the Pantheon and Coliseum are architectural wonders. But when I saw the Coliseum lit up at night, it brought tears to my eyes. The beauty of the moon in the background, the shear size of it rising above the street, the knowledge that there was more underground and the history of what took place there. The US is so young compared to the rest of the world. I can’t tell you honestly if the life style in Rome is the same as Sorrento or Catania, but I venture to say no. I was only there for 2 days. Rome seemed to be more like the commercial metropolitan cities of the US. The hustle, the bustle. If I spent more days there, maybe I would have seen that same controlled, relaxed, enjoyable lifestyle I had experienced in Sorrento or Catania. As for the food, tripe (lining of the cow’s stomach) is what I wanted in Rome, and it was like butter.

Experiencing the differences in each of the places we visited in Italy made me think more about how we in America approach everyday life. It made me think back to the 2 years we went through Covid and my hope for what we may have learned about the pace of life during that time. I remember giving a speech to the student body at St. Andrews School in Middletown, DE in 2015. I reminded them of how great a nation we were. Not because of the money we have or the things we possess, but because of our human rights. That is why folks want to come here. We can slow things down so people aren’t working 12 hours a day, we can establish a balance of work & life that allows people to succeed, but also honor their family responsibilities, and we can still make money. Just because we choose take a step back, slow things down and look at how we live our lives and perform our jobs, doesn’t make us weak. It will make us stronger overall as a nation.    

There is something to be learned from those who live in European countries. It makes for a Life Well Lived!