This is kind of a rhetorical question, have parents just given up on parenting? Does anyone provide any structure or discipline to their children anymore? I ask this because I have seen different incidents over the past summer that makes me wonder, what parents are up to?
My dad was a strict parent, and he had no problem whacking me across the head when I was stepping out of line. My mom while not as strict was also tough and she cracked me a few times with a whiffle ball bat to get my attention and I will say, it worked! I mean I still mis-behaved from time to time, but I know there was going to be consequences for my actions, and this kept me in line. I also grew up with nuns as my teachers for the first eight years of my education. My first-grade nun made me kneel on pencils as a punishment, there were times they were tougher than my parents. I thought things would be easier with priest in high school, man was I sadly mistaken. My parents also taught me manners, to acknowledge an adult when you saw them, shake their hand, give them the respect they earned. I fondly remember all the adults from my Roxbourgh neighborhood, they were all good people who were always looking out for their kids and their friends and ensuring we stayed out of trouble. All of this provided me with a structure and system of values which helped me in my civilian and military career.
I became a parent in 1984 and we had four children and one of things I wanted to ensure for them, was the same type of structure system I grew up with. The very first rule I had in my house was, “we are not your friend, we are your dad and mom”, don’t make the mistake of thinking of me as your friend, I am here to dictate and guide you through life”. I would like to think this worked out well, my kids are all educated, well-rounded, well-spoken individuals and I am proud of all they have accomplished.
Fast forward to today, I was at Dorney Park the other week and saw a kid, maybe 8 or 9 screaming at her mother and then punch her. The parent did nothing, I was stunned, my kid would have gotten a foot up her ass. Shortly after that, I was standing in line behind a woman and her kids and she decided to hold up the line at the taco truck because, wait for it, she wanted to know the nutritional value of the food. It’s a taco from a truck, it’s bad for you and your kids, just eat the damn thing! I watch the kids on my block, one of them shoots hoops while the other three look at their phones. The one that really baffles me is, it 95 degrees outside with 70% humidity and kids are wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. In a bizarre twist, when it’s 10 degrees outside, they are wearing shorts and no coat. The kids in my neighborhood, they don’t acknowledge any adult, really kind of a shame. Now, I’m sure this all sounds like the old guy who used to yell about you getting off his lawn! I just don’t see parenting done anymore; it really is a shame. I live with an educator who tells me all the time that the crazies run the asylum.
I don’t know what parents are thinking is this day and age but I really think it might be time to start parenting again. Stop worrying about letting your kids express themselves but wearing their pants down around their ass and start providing them with structure and guidance. Kids need to know who runs the show and the consequences of acting poorly and disregarding all the folks that surround them. You are not their friend, stop acting like you are!